


The only soul you can never save is your own

by Gangstakaashi



Category: Hazbin Hotel (Web Series)
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-08
Updated: 2020-08-08
Packaged: 2021-03-06 06:00:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,054
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25788463
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gangstakaashi/pseuds/Gangstakaashi
Summary: When Charlie achieves the impossible by saving a soul, the devil on her shoulder is there to remind her of the painful consequences. [translation]
Relationships: Alastor/Charlie Magne
Comments: 10
Kudos: 108





	The only soul you can never save is your own

**Author's Note:**

> [this is a translation of my own original work in french which is also published here]
> 
> None of this would have been possible without the help of the precious soul who offered to beta-read this and correct my mistakes ! So please give a row of applause to them! their tumblr is salieriance .tumblr. com
> 
> The french side of the fandom is pretty dead and i wanted to give my story more visibility, hence i decided to translate it and publish it in english too. 
> 
> This is inspired by a comic by razzled9 on tumblr (https://razzled9.tumblr.com/post/189225513617/crying-is-like-the-ultimate-not-smiling) make sure to check it out too !
> 
> I hope you like it !

There was a party at the Happy Hotel that night. 

It meant a lot to Charlie, and she had gone all out for the occasion, spending two days to prepare it: the whole building was decorated down to its smallest corners with banners, balloons, ribbons, and tiny, colorful flags. For lack of a ballroom, the large lobby was rearranged to accommodate the luxurious reception. All the furniture was pushed against the walls to give the guests enough space to move easily and dance if they wanted to. Near the bar, a large table covered with a purple tablecloth had been set up with dozens of dishes and drinks. Ambient music played from speakers set around the room, loud enough to encourage a few shy dance steps, but not so loud that it would interfere with the lively conversation.

The room was crowded, and rightly so. One had to admit that what the Princess had accomplished was impressive enough to attract demons from all over Hell. They were all curious about the place that had helped a sinner be redeemed and ascend to Heaven. It was something so incredible, and so beyond hope, it was the only thing anyone could talk about! Though reluctant, even Katie Killjoy was forced to acknowledge this success, on primetime news - Charlie actually did it! Through perseverance and determination, she did it: She had saved a soul. It was just one for now, but she planned to keep going. At least she proved it was possible. Sinners could redeem their conduct and be saved from eternal damnation.

Charlie couldn't take two steps in the lobby without someone stopping her to ask her questions. There were reporters, curious denizens of Hell, and even some skeptics who frowned as she walked by, and were mostly there for the buffet. The princess was beaming the brightest of smiles, looking elegant in her dark red dress, as she answered questions, shook hands, and greeted local celebrities. With Vaggie's help, she had practiced behaving like a proper hostess, and now she felt that her heart would explode with happiness.

All these people were gathered here because of her perseverance and hard work. When she first presented her project, they all mocked and belittled her, and tonight they were here to congratulate her. Still, she couldn't blame them. She was proud of what she had accomplished, and it further proved what she said all along: even sinners can change.

There were times when even Charlie thought she would lose hope. As time passed, she had come to wonder if she was really right to believe in her project. She never admitted it out loud, but when it happened, the redemption of this soul, all her doubts vanished into thin air, and her chest filled with hope.

The first thing she made a point of doing (after the initial shock and outbursts of joy) was to tell her father. He, who was firmly opposed to this project from the beginning, would surely be impressed, and he would finally understand! Lucifer didn't answer any of his daughter's calls, but he had to know. It was the only thing anyone in Hell could talk about. 

Charlie tried not to give it too much thought. She already had a lot on her mind, without worrying about her father's opinions of her.

About an hour had passed since Charlie last saw Vaggie, and she'd lost sight of Angel as soon as the party began. Occasionally, she caught a glimpse of Niffty's furtive silhouette making sure the lobby remained clean and pleasant, from the corner of her eye. Husk didn't look like he was enjoying the party, and remained stuck behind the bar with a bottle, hissing away anyone who dared come and ask him for a drink.

They were all so like themselves.

As for Alastor, Charlie hadn't seen him for...a few days, actually. He disappeared quickly after the redemption of that first sinner, claiming he had some unfinished business to attend to. Charlie hadn't seen him since. She couldn't help but feel a little disappointed. She knew from the beginning that Alastor didn't believe in her project and was only there to relish in her futile efforts and amuse himself by making the occasional biting comment. 

Nevertheless, Charlie felt like he played an important part in all this. It was all thanks to Alastor that Niffty and Husk had joined them, after all. Charlie even took some comfort in his presence - even though he wasn't supposed to be there to help her, he had offered her advice on more occasions than expected. She guessed his sudden disappearance had something to do with the idea of redemption, but she wasn't sure. Did he want to retreat to question everything he believed to be true, or to bask in denial by ignoring the reality of the situation?

She just hoped he would come back soon. Maybe then they could discuss it together.

For a good two hours, Charlie bounced from one conversation to another, interrupted, greeted, congratulated, questioned, until she felt the sudden need to be alone. She loved talking about her project, she loved how interested everyone was, more than anything, but she felt dizzy from all the talking and being surrounded by so many people. She needed a break.

Politely excusing herself from the journalist she was talking to, Charlie stepped outside the hotel. She blew a deep breath, happily embracing the coolness of the night. How suffocating the heat could be, in a room full of demons! She closed her eyes and stood there for a moment; she could still hear the muffled clamor of voices and echoes of music, but she was already starting to feel better.

She took a few steps, distracted as she looked around the street, and pulled her phone out of her pocket, hoping to see a message from her father. Even just a word. Anything. She had sent him an invitation to her party, but she wasn't really expecting him to show up, anymore. At this point, she figured she might as well go back inside before someone came looking for her. She got some fresh air, and that was enough.

Charlie was about to reopen the door, when she suddenly felt a hand grab her wrist, pulling her back. She yelped, confused, when another hand gentle settled on her hip. She looked up with a puzzled expression on her face, only to be met with Alastor's smile. 

"Why, my dear, what kind of hostess are you, leaving your guests all alone?" he asked, drawing her against him. He wore his usual red suit, and that huge smile always seemed to hide what he was really thinking.

After her surprise faded, Charlie's face lit up with a radiant smile. Her hand came to rest instinctively on the Radio Demon's arm.

"There you are!" she said. "I was getting worried!"

"I really should be the least of your worries, dearest," Alastor replied with a light sneer accented by an echo of sizzling laughter that seemed to come from the air around him. "It appears to me that your sinners need your attention more than I do."

Charlie's nose wrinkled as she stared at Alastor. Something about the way he spoke seemed unusual, but she couldn't quite put her finger on what it was. He always looked at her the same way, smiled the same way, but something seemed...off.

She chose to ignore the strange feeling, and nodded, glancing at the door as Alastor pulled her into a waltz to the rhythm of what little they could hear of the melody still playing inside the hotel.

"I still can't believe how many people showed up," Charlie thought out loud. She continued, turning her attention back to her dance partner, "We have a waiting list, can you believe it? The hotell will be full by next week! What we've managed to do here...we've brought hope into the hearts of sinners. They believe in our project, now!"

Charlie felt her cheeks warming up as she spoke, and her heart pounded in her chest as if it was going to burst. The excitement was taking over, and she couldn't stop smiling. A careful listener could have heard her voice shaking slightly as emotion caught up in her throat. She felt like she was living a dream.

"Who knew so many of these pathetic, foolish sinners would actually seek redemption," Alastor replied. He seemed unwilling to take his eyes off Charlie, but she was used to it, and no longer intimidated by the intensity of his gaze, which seemed to pierce through the skin and see everything you desperately tried to hide from him.

A small smile spread on Charlie's face as Alastor spun her around, before bringing her back against him.

"By the way..." she began in a cheerful, teasing tone. "You didn't think it was possible, did you? To rehabilitate a sinner? Soooo...." She leaned towards him, her eyes sparkling with childish malice and a bit of sass.

The Radio Demon didn't answer, keeping his gaze fixed on the princess's radiant face. She couldn't guess what he was thinking. Was he annoyed? Offended? Just deeply indifferent to her joy? He was still all smiles, waltzing with the princess.

"Anything you'd like to tell me, hm? Come on! Say it," Charlie insisted, too proud of herself and her success to notice the unpleasant feeling growing in the pit of her stomach.

Alastor's smile widened and the glow in his eyes changed. Charlie didn't even get a chance to wonder why - the Radio Demon was spinning her again in a whirl of cloth.

"Congratulations, princess!" he exclaimed as a roar of encouragement crackled around them. "My, you did it! You've sent one of these fools to Heaven, what a wonderful achievement!" Ghostly laughter echoed in the air.

Charlie laughed as well, wholeheartedly. She was happy, and she was even happier knowing that even Alastor recognized her success. Even he, who hadn't believed in her project for a second, recognized that she was right, in the end, to cling to her dream. She looked away to put a strand of hair back in place, and when she looked up at Alastor, her heart dropped to the bottom of her chest. The unpleasant feeling intensified. A shiver ran through her.

"But at this pace..." Alastor reached a hand towards Charlie's face, gently raising her chin to keep her from looking away. His red eyes lit up with an eerie glow. Dangerous. A bad feeling hit Charlie in the stomach. 

"You'll have them all saved in no time, my dear."

He forced her to turn her head and there, right next to them, a cloud of thick, red smoke appeared in the shape of three figures Charlie recognized instantly: Vaggie and Angel, sitting at the bar, chatting with Husk... Angel laughed, holding his belly, while Vaggie argued with him about something, as Husk looked on, vaguely amused. It was a scene Charlie had witnessed hundreds of times, which would have ignited a warm feeling of nostalgia in the depths of her chest, if she hadn't felt so terrified.

"And what will you do, after they're all gone?" The silhouettes evaporated and, in a split second, there was nothing left of them. Charlie's heart ached. She'd never thought about it before.

She'd always refused to think about it, from the moment she started getting attached to them. Part of her had always known that if she wanted to do it right, she would have no choice but to let them go, but she never prepared for that. It would have been far too painful. Still, Alastor was right. She wanted to save them all, and part of that meant losing her friends. Then she'd be alone again. And she really didn't know what she would do, then.

"Really..." The Radio Demon pulled Charlie's face back to him, his fingers still grasping her cheeks. "What a pity you can't go to heaven, yourself."

The white noise still sizzling around him was so loud now it was almost unbearable, and Charlie only wanted to cover her ears, and to close her eyes so that she wouldn't have to face the cruel look Alastor now cast on her.

"W̷̥̖͓̻̅͒̈́̀͐͂̈́́̕̚̕h̸̠̰̳̪̻̊̊͂̚͜͝ͅą̶̟̪̱̪̟̹͕͉̾͛͑ͅt̵͖͎̜̽̄̍͗͑͛͝ ̵͉͈͚̠̝̗̟̌a̵͇̲̲͐ ̵̢͎͍͚̼̗͉̈̇̃͒͗͆͠p̴̲͖̭̗̙̩̠͖̿̂̑̉͝i̵̝̤̝̥̱͎̜̊̑̐t̴͇̰̃̍̅̌́̾̕͝y̶̥̳̦̟͎̠̰͍̰͎̎̀ ̵̙̳̹̭̅̊̽͆͒y̷̧̠̝͉̪̠͙̱̺͓̌͒̋͆̍͐̍̋̔̚̕͜ȯ̵̳̭̃̈͗͊̆́̐͗̕͠ủ̶̧̝͒̌̓'̵̢̬̯̠͚̭͎͓͘ͅl̸͚͕̟͚͕̗̦͒͑̎͌̎l̴̩͍̟̫̫͉͔̣͖͚̣̎̃̍̂̂̏̓͘͝ ̶̼̭͈̙̰̮̗̼̰̹̿̈́͜ę̸̡͎̱̤̱͈̟͂̐͆͒ń̷̨̛̪̭̖̩̎͛̽̓̌͂͛͠d̴̬̩̰̞̜̊̐̐̓̏ ̶̫̪̥͒̂͛̀̄͗̕͝u̴͕͓̗͔̭̞̩̯̻̮̒̈́̇͛̏̓̈̕͠p̴͕̮̼̥̂̍͒ ̵̢̡̯̩͍͓͎͎̚͜à̷̧̼͍͍̥̗̮͇́͌͆͆̅͋̏̈́͝l̴͕̭̮̈́͛̎̑̄͘͝l̷͉̖̙̑͛̀̓͛͘͝ ̷̛̟̗̰̩̬̞̓̊͐̽͜ā̴͉l̶̰̞̹̰̽͐̚ǒ̷̦̩̬̜̬̱̚͜n̷̪̫̭̤̦͔̐͗͛̄̑̔͠e̸̗̦͒̅̉̓͆́͝.̷̧̣̹̭̬̣̫̺̺̫̈̿̃̾̾̌̈́̊͋͋"

  
The smile. The glare. The sizzle all around. Charlie felt her heart pounding in her chest, the fear pulling at her face.

She always tried to see the good in everyone, and that applied to Alastor, too. Over time, she'd found many good traits in him, and had begun to enjoy his company. But at this moment, she realized how terrifying he was. As she was celebrating her victory, the demon's dark eyes reflected the cruel delight he took in reminding her of the bitter end that awaited her.

She wished she wouldn't have to think about it....

Her vision blurred and in the blink of an eye, tears began to flow down her cheeks.

Alastor's fingers twitched, still clenched to her face, and he tilted his head to the side, as if he was surprised, or caught off guard. He probably didn't expect the princess to burst into tears. "Oh, no. No, don't cry, now! Doesn't suit your pretty face," he said in an impassive tone.

With her reddened face and bright eyes, Charlie looked like a child: a fragile and precious little thing, and even Alastor could not remain unmoved in front of such distress. Especially not hers. He wiped away the line of tears carving their way down her cheek with the back of his finger.

Charlie was...an enigma.

Alastor couldn't understand how a demon born in Hell could exude such optimism and kindness, and it was the most fascinating thing about her. When he first saw her, he immediately thought that she would be a wonderful source of entertainment for him, he was so convinced that she would fail in her project. And yet, he eventually found something endearing about her. Charlie was strange, but she was smart and oddly lucid, for such a dreamer. And she had earned his respect. Just like the others at the hotel, he'd be willing to slaughter anyone who harmed her.

"You know you can end this at any time," he said, eyes narrowed. Charlie was sobbing, shoulders trembling, looking down. "All you have to do is just -"

"No!"

Alastor's smile widened slightly as Charlie looked up at him. Through the tears, her eyes burned with stinging intensity. "I'm not giving up," she said firmly. "I'm not doing this for me...I'm doing it for them!"

Charlie was an enigma. She cared about her friends more than anything, yet she chose to be separated from them forever, if she had to. If it meant they could have access to something better, she was willing to make that sacrifice without a second thought for herself. 

"I- They deserve better...and I know I'll end up all alone, but...it's okay." She furiously ran her fists across her cheeks to wipe away tears that were immediately replaced by more, and sniffed loudly as her voice trembled with the sobs she failed to hold back. "I love them... I want them to be happy. And I don't care if I have to be sad to achieve that."

So selfless. So full of that pure benevolence that radiated from her and blinding everyone around her. So interesting and peculiar. A true mystery. Of all the miserable souls in Hell, she was probably the one who belonged most in Heaven. 

Alastor stood silent, watching her. A strange feeling gripped his stomach, but he couldn't put his finger on the cause. He had never felt anything like it before. Seeing Charlie in this state and hearing all the pain flooding from her voice made him ache with a vague, diffuse pain. Deeply disturbing. He didn't like it.

"Now, don't get yourself so worked up, princess," he said cheerfully, pulling a handkerchief from his jacket. One hand still resting on Charlie's cheek, he pressed the handkerchief against her nose as a faint echo of laughter crackled in the air. "I hate to see you cry."

Charlie took the handkerchief from his hands. Her shoulders were tense, shaking with sobs, her head bowed. She seemed to be carrying the weight of all her grief. Alastor realized she had been carrying more than he thought. It was the weight of all those souls she wanted to save, on her frail shoulders. She smiled through it, never letting her detractors get her down. Just like him, covering all the emotions he could feel behind a smile, she was always careful to hide her doubts, her fears, and the sadness of losing her friends one day.

Such a brave girl.

"Now come on, you almost make me wish I hadn't teashed you!"

Charlie forced a polite smile. Alastor loathed it. If the princess was going to smile, it ought to be sincere, at least. He didn't want to see her sad. She shouldn't be sad. Not her, their sunshine. The wretched fools she was trying to save needed her smile.

In a gentle gesture, Alastor drew her up against him, and Charlie let herself fall forward, burying her face in the thick fabric of his red jacket.

The reaction was immediate. The sobs intensified. Charlie grabbed Alastor's sleeve and squeezed it so tight her knuckles turned white. She surrendered to sadness and cried like she was alone, like no one was there to see her, no one to judge her. Alastor placed a hand on top of her head and gently petted her hair. He remembered his mother petting his hair to comfort him, when he was a child.

"Don't worry, dearest. You will never be alone." He closed his eyes. "You can never save my soul."

He would never go to Heaven, no matter how hard Charlie tried to save him. He never wanted to be saved in the first place. And especially now that he had found her, this curious little demon, too kind for her own good. How could he ever leave her?

Even if all her friends disappeared, he'd stay with her. He would make it a priority to stay with her.

**Author's Note:**

> Writing this was a lot of fun ! Charlie and Alastor really make me so happy!
> 
> I hope it was good !


End file.
